I had confidence, but not in my looks.

If anything, I never really thought of myself as pretty. I had rashes on my forehead that felt like anthill mounds; the kind that, in my mind, could not go unnoticed.

Then there was my body.

I did not look like many of my classmates. My body had not developed the way I wished it had. While some girls had already started wearing bras, I was still wearing boob tubes. It affected my self-esteem more than I admitted at the time.

I felt behind.

I felt awkward.

I felt like my body had not received the memo that we were growing up.

But even though I struggled with how I looked, I had something else.

Something much more powerful than physical appearance.

I had my voice.

I had a big voice.

The only problem is that I did not know it yet.

That changed when I joined Drama Club.

I was given the role of Sasha, a girl whose boyfriend felt trapped by the expectations of his parents. They wanted him to pursue medicine, but at the core of his heart, he was an artist. He felt locked in a life that did not reflect who he truly was.

Then one day, the Play Director, Mr. Allan Ochieng’ told me to sing.

I knew I could harmonize. I could support a melody. I could blend in.

But lead?

I did not think so.

He insisted.

It was as though he knew something about me that I had not yet discovered about myself.

So I opened my mouth and tried.

The first key was too high. I stopped, dropped to a lower one, held my stomach, and reached for the note again.

Then something happened.

Like butterflies flying wild and free, my voice burst open.

My vocal cords opened up in a way I had never experienced before.

Everyone stopped and looked at me.

Even I was shocked.

“Kendi, you can sing.”

From that moment, something shifted.

I became my high school’s songbird.

I could sing whenever, wherever, as long as I had the opportunity. I sang with joy. I sang with confidence. I sang because, finally, I had discovered something in me that did not need to compete with anyone else’s beauty, body, or popularity.

I had something to give.

Something to offer.

Something that made me feel seen for more than the things I was insecure about.

My confidence grew because I discovered a part of myself that carried value.

I was more than the rashes on my forehead.

I was more than the body I felt uncomfortable in.

I was more than the girl who felt behind.

I was a songbird.

And that is something every teenager needs to discover.

Every teen needs to know their thing.

Not because that thing will make them superior to others, but because it reminds them that they carry something valuable.

Self-esteem should not be built only on appearance. Looks change. Bodies change. Skin changes. Trends change. What people admire today may not be what they admire tomorrow.

But what a young person carries within them: their gift, skill, talent, voice, mind, compassion, creativity, leadership, humour, discipline, courage, or ability to serve, can become a powerful anchor.

When a teenager discovers what they carry, they begin to see themselves differently.

They stop defining themselves only by what they lack.

They stop measuring their worth only by how they compare physically.

They begin to ask deeper questions:

What am I good at?

What comes alive in me?

What do people experience when I show up fully?

What can I contribute?

What gift has been hiding behind my insecurity?

Sometimes, confidence is not found by fixing everything a teenager dislikes about themselves.

Sometimes, confidence begins when they discover something true, strong, and beautiful within themselves.

That is why the adults around teenagers matter.

Mr. Allan Ochieng’ saw something in me before I saw it in myself. He gave me an opportunity. He pushed me gently. He created a moment where my hidden gift could come out.

And that moment changed how I saw myself.

This is what parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, and youth leaders can do for teenagers.

We can help them discover what they carry.

We can notice the gift before it is polished.

We can call out the strength before the teenager believes it.

We can create spaces where young people try, fail, grow, and eventually surprise themselves.

At Coach Ben Africa, this is part of the work we believe in deeply. Teenagers do not only need motivation. They need discovery. They need environments that help them uncover their voice, name their strengths, build confidence, and understand that they are more than their insecurities.

Because every teenager is carrying something.

The question is whether they will find it early enough to build from it.